Paris-Pittsburgh People: Christine Arriola

This past week, I decided to expand my horizons and meet new people. And learned, yet again, that it's a small world.

I accepted an invitation from Christine Arriola to give a talk on mentoring at her Toastmaster's club where she works, at the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD). I wasn't sure if she was French or from some other foreign country. Over lunch we talked business, but afterward, I asked her where she was from:

“Pittsburgh,” she said. “No way,” I said, “what part?” “South Hills,” she said. “Me too!”

Proof that “six degrees of separation” is off by about five.

But Christine's journey from Pittsburgh to Paris wasn't a direct flight. Here, Christine shares her story, and her fondness for her native city and her adoptive one. Sounds familiar!

https://mathspig.wordpress.com/tag/6-degrees-of-separation-explained/

Tell me about your journey from Pittsburgh to Paris:
“My journey from Pittsburgh to Paris has been somewhat circuitous with many stops along the way.  After graduating from Thomas Jefferson High School in Jefferson Hills, I headed east to Oberlin, Ohio,  to attend college. It was just far enough away that I felt like I finally launched into independent adulthood.

''After university, I made my way east to Washington, D.C. where I worked in policy research organizations. Overtime I didn’t feel like the nation’s capital was east enough, so I up and joined the Peace Corps which took me to Burkina Faso in West Africa--my first foray living in a
French-speaking country.

''After a few more stops in the U.S., which included time in both Pittsburgh and D.C. again, I picked-up a husband and a second degree, and finally settled here in the Paris area.''

What do you like about Pittsburgh, and what do you like about Paris?
''Someone once suggested to me that Pittsburgh was a big city with a small town feel. I think that is a great way to describe the ‘burgh. Everyone is kind and friendly. No matter where you go in town, everyone seems to know each other.

''The stunning architecture in Paris, to me, is second to none. I am consistently mesmerized by the Haussmann buildings which line the streets of my bus ride into the center of Paris. The Grand Palais and Opera Garnier are works of art."
What would bring you back to Pittsburgh?
"My family and most of my childhood friends are still in Pittsburgh. It would be nice to see them more often. I just need to show my California native husband the charms of four seasons--especially the Pittsburgh winters."

What would have you stay in Paris?
"Paris and France have a lot of nooks and crannies to explore. There are lots of regions and areas in and out of the city to discover. The French people we’ve met so far have been more than happy to share with us information about the wine they are producing or the history of area we are visiting. I love it! I love to learn and discover new things. Since moving to Paris, I feel like I discover something new every time when I walk out the door.''

It was great meeting you Christine! Perhaps we'll bump into each other again—maybe on that direct Delta flight back to Pittsburgh?
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Rose Marie Burke, an editor and journalist, writes a blog about her personal insights into life in Paris. After 20 years in the City of Light, she still calls her native Pittsburgh "home." Want to follow this blog? Email me at rose.burke89 "at" yahoo.fr. Or follow me on Google+.

Why I Love Losing

''Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing.''

This quote made famous by U.S. football coach Vince Lombardi explains why I usually hate competition.

Yesterday, I lost a speech contest in Toastmaster's International Speech Contest, specifically the Area A4 contest. Why do I feel so happy about it?

When I joined Toastmaster's three years ago, it was to learn public speaking. But I wondered what the contests were all about. I thought it was CRAZY that the club used so many of its resources on competitions. There are two contest seasons a year, starting in October and then again in March.

Three things changed my mind: 1. The contestants seemed to be having such a good time! 2. Contestants, whether they won or lost, talked about how much they learned. 3. Many more men compete than women, partly explaining why the top champs are usually men—that got my dander up.

Here's what my some of my club members said about competing:

Marc: ''In competing I find out so much about himself, in fact I found myself!''

Carol: ''I love it. I always win because I am competing against myself.''

I vowed to start competing. This was my third contest, and I finally won at first level, the club contest. Then began the hard work of revising and rehearsing it for the area contest, where competition is severe—we have some world-class talent.

Nearly all of us ''competitors'' got together to workshop our speeches—in a spirit of collaboration. We all came away with amazing ideas for improvement. Plus, one club member helped me refine and rehearse. I worked hard, revising well into the late hours of Friday night. (After being sick as a dog after lunch, and not knowing whether I would make it!)

2nd prize in Paris Speech Masters' club contest:
International and evaluation. My first trophies!
Certificates of participation in the A4 area contest.

On Saturday at midday, after the contest was over, about a dozen people--club members and total strangers--told me how much they enjoyed the speech, and how noticeably improved it was. (Go here for the speech ''The Color Of Confidence.'' It was related to my earlier blogpost, ''Going Cold, Gray Turkey.'')

That was icing on the cake. Because I already felt like a winner. I learned a lot about myself: that I can memorize a 7-minute speech, speak comfortably in front of a crowd, and make them laugh!

Women tend to avoid competition and instead seek cooperative endeavors. I believe that because we tend not to compete, we lose out in so many ways—that go a long way to explain the gender gap.

But when competition and collaboration exist together, as it usually does at Toastmasters, it's a win-win situation.

So what do we have to lose by friendly competition? From what I've learned, nothing at all. Unless we fear becoming better, and tapping the power within ourselves and others.

To paraphrase Vince Lombardi, ''Collaboration isn't everything, it's the only thing.''

That's more like it!
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Growing A Life In Paris

I get a kick out of meeting Americans and others who are moving to Paris. They are so excited about living the dream. But at the same time, they’re worried. What about health care? Where do I find Cheerios for my two-year-old? A school for my teen? How do I fill this hole in my life—no friends, family, or language?

Last weekend, I met about 150 transplants at a day-long orientation program called “Bloom Where You Are Planted,” now in its 45th year.

I saw myself in their faces. Nearly 18 year ago, I was newly married, following my spouse who had secured his dream job. It was a French honeymoon! We thought we would be here for just 18 months.

A still from the movie "An American in Paris" (1951)

Except this time, I was volunteering for the program instead of taking part. I was reminded that moving abroad is more than an airplane ticket and a temporary rental apartment. It’s about making a happy life for yourself.

And how to do that? The speakers at Bloom were long on advice—sometimes conflicting. “Don’t mingle with English speakers,” said Simone Zanoni, the Italian executive chef at the Trianon Restaurant at Versailles. He came to Paris barely speaking little French, and it took time for him to win acceptance and acclaim.

Another speaker Melissa Dalton-Bradford, author of “Global Mom,” embraced whatever was in her house or next door. She learned her foreign languages via the friends of her four children, and built her community around a massive dinner table!

As for myself? Immersion is great, if your spouse is French, you’re going to French university or diving into a Franco-French workplace. But, that wasn’t me.

As a “trailing spouse” to a American working in an international organization where English was the working language, I met amazing people from all over the world. Why avoid that? Love the one you’re with!

I didn’t have an opening into the French world until I started working—in an American multinational where the house language is “Franglais”! Here’s a typical conversation: “Tu vas à la huddle sur le way we work?”

After 18 years, my French is horrible (which is English for not too bad) but I am happy.

Happy to have so many American friends that have become family—gros bisous to Shellie, Karen, Helen and so many others!

Happy to belong to American and other Englishy groups for immigrants, exiles, escapees, whatever you call us. Merci beaucoup to Toastmasters, WICE, the American Church, AAWE, etc. where I have learned so much and have met so many amazing English-speaking transplants--and so many fantastic French people!

Call it Bloom Where You Are Planted!